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Day 12 cont.
Beneath closed eyes…

So remember that work in progress? The idea to meditate? I’m perhaps the most restless being I know. So the past two nights before that, I would meditate, and still have energy to burn before falling asleep. I had assumed it would be the same way, especially because the two nights before I was actually tired on top of that, and last night, I was definitely not even tired when I started meditating. I start meditating, scenes unravel in my head, my body becomes peaceful and suddenly, all I can feel is my face, the absolute stillness of it. As if my whole face went numb, my lips heavy yet weightless, everything resolutely there. Does that make sense? I’m digressing. Point is, that’s the last thing I remember before passing out completely. I woke up at 3 am, shocked I had even fallen asleep. It wouldn’t have bothered me so much if I didn’t have my stream-of-conscious piece to write, as well as the fact I left candles burning :X So I had to rush up briefly to blow out the candles, and was too tired to do anything, and passed out again. It ended up not getting done til today. But boy, that was a learning experience. YOU CAN’T OVERCLEANSE YOURSELF. YOU’LL ONLY FALL ASLEEP. Hahaha all those self-cleansing things, when really working, leave me tired (read: yoga) and I forgot that because it had been so long. Nonetheless, the stream-of-conscious piece got done, and oh dear it’s so rough but I suppose that’s what this is for… to force all the thoughts out of you. So, if you honestly want to read it… it’s right here.

Day 13
Making a statement

“The truth is that according to the World Health Organization, depression is one of the leading causes of disability, with approximately 121 million people suffering with depression worldwide. The National Institute of Mental Health states that approximately 18 million people suffer from depression in America alone. Depression does not discriminate across age, race, gender, or class. Among teenagers it is estimated that 20 percent will suffer from depression at some point by the time they reach adulthood. There are also as many as 8.3 percent of teens suffering from depression for at least a year at a time, compared to 5.3 percent of the general population.

Insprired by the work of TWLOHA (To Write Love On Her Arms), an organization created to spread awareness for teen depression, self-injury, and suicide, we are coming together to make sure the whole world knows. We are not directly affiliated with TWOLHA, but are in great support of their work To find out more about TWLOHA visit their website here: http://www.twloha.com/

During the time of year that suicide rates are at their highest, we chose February 13, the day before Valentine’s Day, as our opportunity to start showing people how much they are loved. We will physically write the word LOVE on our arms (with a sharpie, or whatever other ink suits you best). If someone asks you what it’s for, tell them about TWLOHA. Tell them they are loved, that they are important. And ask if you can write LOVE on their arm as a symbol of that. Don’t be afraid to reach out to those who need love, those who you often walk right by every day. They need our care.

There is NO set time, there is NO set location. Where you are, when you are there, speak out.

Some of us may choose to share the love of God, but we want you to share whatever love is strongest for you. Depression has no boundaries, but neither does our love.

Stop the bleeding. Rescue is possible.”

Day 10
Setting up Shop

So, this task took much longer than I thought it would. Haha, if only because I had little to any help in accomplishing it. One person commented with their etsy shop, and I already knew of her etsy shop… because I had hunted it down and bought things already from her! Hahaha. So what to do? Surrender? NEVER. Oh no, my thing-a-day was getting done, whether any one actually uses it or not. So I figured, anyway. Being the amazing person I am, with apparently a very slow Sunday (somewhat of a lie), I scrolled down the author’s page and clicked EVERY SINGLE USER’S profile to see if they had a website listed. If they had a website listed, I clicked through the website to see if they had a linked shop/etsy page. It got tedious at points, but also somewhat of an amusing chase - patting myself on the back for being an excellent internet researcher. I also thought perhaps what I was doing was slightly creepy, but, who doesn’t like free advertising? And well, if they want me to take it down that badly, I will. I’m just trying to do good and bring ‘em money and share the handmade love I swear!

And now that I’ve gone on a completely diatribe, haha, here is the beloved list. Use and abuse it. It might be slightly incomplete because some people have created/recently finished shops since I finished the list on Sunday, but alas, c’est la vie, I’d also be more than willing to add them on if such people request. Enjoy! And shop away!

Day 11
Charging Up

Day 11 made me realize I do a lot of creative/crafty/making things that I just don’t count. For instance, baking cookies, organizing care packages (I just sent out two letters and three packages today… erm), daily positivity lists, taking photos, organizing my craft supplies, and… I just don’t count them. Why not? I’m a perfectionist and I want to do more than um, what I already do. I guess if it’s already daily in my mind, something I would do regardless, it doesn’t count! Haha. Oops. So I go out of my way to do more. Anyway. This has nothing to do with what I actually made (I MADE A REVELATION!) haha.

The thing I made wasn’t perhaps the most creative thing ever, but it was something I needed to do seeing as it was plaguing my mind. I happened to already be sick yesterday - I woke up with very flu-like symptoms, but um, seem to not have the flu and seems to have been a bad reaction to something. Point was, tissues were everywhere, I slept half the day, I had a searing migraine, doubled over in stomach pain, nausea, bones achey, youuu name it. So I wasn’t perhaps in the most inspired mood. I wanted to be, but I wasn’t. And of course, when my body is down and feeling crappy, it said “oh please, Victoria, let’s be sensible and bring your emotions down with you!” And thus, down they spiralled. So my thing-a-day was to sort out my emotions and make a positives and negatives list of a current situation in my life that could potentially create a lot of change in the next few months, so it was kinda important to do. I don’t think I got it all out, as it’s a rather heavy topic in both heart and mind, but I think I needed to at least write the basics of my dilemma out so that I didn’t keep it locked up inside me. Rather, I have it on a neat organized sheet to remind me that anyone would go crazy with all these decisions intertwined with sentimental emotion. And that makes me feel better. Haha.

Oh no picture or actual result, because as I said, it’s rather personal. Which, actually usually doesn’t stop me, but I guess in this situation it does. Which I suppose really says something, hm?

Day 12
Work in progress…

IS STILL IN PROGRESS. OH NOES. Haha. But I know exactly what it’s going to be. I have this goal on my mission 101 list to write three pages everyday stream-of-conscious for a month. I had attempted it once before, while I was still in school, and maybe made it through half a month or little bit more before I just couldn’t find the time (I would often catch myself still struggling even when I did accomplish it… inbetween periods, on breaks, in classes). So, I decided I’m going to start up this goal again tonight. But, I’m going to do it right. The point of the goal, or writing stream-of-conscious in general, is to free up the mind of creative restraints and just let whatever is in you out, more open to invention. And I’ve taken to meditating the past few nights to calm myself down, also um, one of my goals… hahah but I didn’t start that one intentionally! I just needed it. Anyway, so I figure, after I meditate and clear my mind a bit, I’ll write out everything inside me, and really really clean myself out. Which will be a wonderful cleansing process. And what better timing than right before I go to sleep? So cheers to that. I’ll post my results tomorrow!